Zen Baby Lessons

This week's issue of the New Yorker is the "Summer Fiction Issue," which I usually skip because I'm not really one for short stories. They are certainly the "writer's genre" of fiction, but I'm more for extended character development and expansive settings. However, I noticed that Jonathan Safran Foer had a story in this issue, and he's one of my favorites. ("Everything Is Illuminated" in particular, is fantastic.) So, thinking that short fiction lends itself well to BART rides, I embarked.

Now I might start reading short stories more often. Brief declarations alternating between first person, second person, and first person plural told the story of an entire relationship. Beautiful craftsmanship, and idiosyncratic usages... It made me very happy. I hope Mr. Foer won't mind that I excerpt it, but here is my favorite part: "When you screamed at no one, I sang to you. When you finally fell asleep, the nurse took him to bathe him, and, still sleeping, you reached out your arms." (You were wondering when I was going to get to babies, weren't you?) The funny thing is, that second sentence is probably the longest in the whole story. I like to think that is because birth is the most full experience we have: short sentences just won't cut it.

We had a family dinner at Tacubaya last night (one of my favorite Mexican restaurants). The food is excellent, and it's a baby-friendly kind of place. Amelia had fish tacos, and I had quesadillas with baked asparagus and goat cheese, with a Pacifico on the side. It really took me back to our trip to Mexico a couple of years ago. It's strange to think of those times Amelia and I had together before Jasper. Then again, it's strange to think of my time before Amelia, too. But, with a baby it's different. Looking back on all of our vacations, road trips, dates, and nights at home, I wonder why we didn't know to savor those moments. It takes having a baby to learn how valuable all the little moments and indulgences are.

Don't get me wrong, I love having Jasper around for everything we do now. I can't imagine our world without him. But if I had a time machine, I would go back and tell myself sitting at the pool bar in Puerto Escondido at ten at night, "Enjoy that shot of tequilla. Have another. You never know when a perfect moment like this will happen again." I'm sure I would have taken my advice and had another shot, but I wouldn't have understood.

Until next time,
Papa

Hide Your Daughters and Your Silverware

Two things today: 1) Jasper looks ridiculously cute when I'm getting ready to leave for work in the morning; and 2) I think he's going to love it when he gets to start eating. Oh, and a third, he's a little flirt!

This morning, like every weekday, I got up at seven to do all of my morning ablutions - shave, shower, iron, make coffee, play with cats, etc. Usually, I'm very good at getting up and out the door on time. The other day my co-worker asked me to be late. She said, "Your constant punctuality makes the rest of us uncomfortable." Recently, Jasper has been doing his best to ease your pain, Nicki. So far I have yet to be late, but I feel the day coming.

His tactic is very simple: he lies in bed, curled up with his Mama, looking unbelievably cute. Thus, he ensnares me, and I have to stand there staring at him with what is probably the most silly-looking grin on my face. If he had cohorts, I'd think he was trying to pick my pocket. I'll have to take a picture, otherwise no one will believe how cute he is. The cuteness sometimes doubles when he and Amelia strike the same sleep-pose and look like synchronized swimmers. They both have this way of tilting their heads up, arching their backs a little; and throwing their arms above their heads. It kills me.

Point, the second: Jasper loves to watch us eat. Instead of walking for take-out tonight, we made a very un-glamorous Trader Joe's pizza. Dessert was strawberries with milk (yum!). J sat in his bouncy seat (another indispensable gift) and entertained himself for most of dinner. When he asked for more attention I picked him up and sat him on my knee while we finished. At that point, I think he forgot that Amelia and I were even there. The only thing in his world was the food going from our plates to our mouths. I think he might have even drooled a little.

What does this mean? Is he ready to start eating something other than breastmilk? Is he going to be the next Thomas Keller? (Yes, I get carried away. But it's possible.) The thought of feeding him is simultaneously fun and daunting. So far, I've given him all of two bottles, the rest has been all Amelia. Well, the bottles were all Amelia, too, but I claim credit for getting that milk into the baby. Feeding him with a spoon seems like a giant leap forward, and I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it. Books, here I come!

Lastly, the flirting. Amelia told me that he likes to smile at girls in line behind them when they're at the store, but I had yet to witness it. Tonight, our cat-sitter came over for a tour before our trip, and as soon as Jasper saw her, he gave her the flirtiest little grin! Maybe it was because I had just "flown" him in from the other room, but I like to think it's because he's a baby Casanova.

Buenos noches!

Pyrrhic Stroller Victory

I think I said something yesterday about Jasper's perfection, and I'm not taking it back. He is the world's perfect baby. I got home from work today and he was sitting on his Grandma's lap (actually, standing in her lap as he likes to do) and looking out the window behind her. I got ahold of him a few minutes later. He was looking a little sleepy, but I wanted to play. So I started a game where I lifted him up in the air very quickly (some might call it tossing) and said "weeeee" at the same time. Well, he got the biggest kick out of that; laughing every time. The only problem was, as soon as I stopped, he cried. But if I did it again, he laughed. Normally, I would just keep doing what made him laugh for as long as he wanted, but he is starting to be a heavy little guy, and I was afraid of dropping him. So, I stopped for a breather, thinking that he would stop crying when he got distracted by a dust mote floating by or a cat sneezing. Nope. He decided to cry in earnest.

Then I realized (with a possible suggestion from Amelia) that tossing the sleepy baby in the air might be a good recipe for tears. Sorry about that Jasper! Luckily, Grandma knew the answer: take him outside for a moment. Grandmas are great for these magical nuggets. As soon as we stepped out the door, he calmed down. We strolled out to the sidewalk and looked at the birds. (I'm determined that he will like birds - those who know me will know which ones - as much as I do.) It was so much fun that we decided it was time for a longer walk in the stroller.

Jasper is the lucky borrower of a very fancy stroller. The seat reclines; he can face in for comfort or out for socializing; the sunshade comes almost all the way down and has a zipper in back so the pusher can always see him; the wheels all have independent brakes and steering locks; and it has storage for all the necessities - blankets, layers, toys, and take-out dinner for Mom and Dad. This is one suped-up baby carriage! Tonight, we decided on Chinese, and J and I headed up to China Village on Solano (chosen because they started advertising their Michelin review and we were curious).

I try to make plans now that serve multiple purposes, and this one was no different. First, walks in the stroller are a perfect time to tell Jasper all about my day and point out the sights along the way. Next, Amelia gets to take a baby-break, having been Supermom all day. Thirdly, stroller rides usually put Jasper to sleep, and he was seeming kind of sleepy already (see above). Finally, dinner would appear without Amelia or I having to do anything in the kitchen. I set out feeling very proud of this plan.

Normally, such a phrase is followed by something like "little did I know" or "the best laid plans." However, in this case, I'm going to claim victory. Walking with baby and telling stories - check. Amelia gets a baby-break - check. Jasper takes a little nap - check (very little). Dinner - check (though definitely not Michelin quality). The walk was an overall success, and we returned triumphant.

Now, little did I know, my brain actually had another plan. Let's call it the meta-plan. If the stroller walk is a success, my brain thought, then Jasper will have an easier time going to sleep at bedtime, because stroller-nap will equal preparation for nighttime sleep. Jasper had other plans.

Recently, bedtime has been kind of difficult because the only way he wants to nod off is while nursing. I, unlike this particularly ambitious Swede, have not mastered this technique. J used to fall mostly to sleep while I rocked him for a bit in Amelia's family rocker, and then Amelia would get him the rest of the way down in bed. That is just not working for him now, and screaming-crying ensues until I hand him over to his Mama.

So, although our stroller ride was a short-term success (I love seeing him sitting up and looking all around), my long-term plans need some re-thinking. Hopefully, "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" has some useful pointers.

Until next time,

The Papa

The Jasper Journal Begins

The world's cutest baby is four months old today! So, I figured it was about time to start chronicling our new life as a family. Probably, I won't have anything terribly useful to say. Experienced parents will be especially shocked by my amazement at the smallest baby developments and achievements. However, that's not going to stop me from trying. I love being a new parent and I hope some of that comes through here.

The last three months getting to know this little guy have been amazing. He is, usually, the most easy-going baby you could imagine. Everyone talks about how hard new babies are (i.e. crying non-stop, never sleeping, only wanting their parents to hold them, etc. etc.), but, I have to say, Jasper is not like that at all. From the beginning, he's been very laid back. Oh, he cries, but it only seems to be when he actually has a complaint; not just for the sake of wailing. When he was born he cried for the amount of time it took to get from the doctor's hands to Amelia's chest, and then we didn't hear a peep from him (except for those incredible newborn coo's) for the next three days it seemed like. I'm pretty sure he's the world's perfect baby.

So much has happened since he was born. Everyday seems much longer than any other days I've had. It's like getting close to a black hole: everything stretches out and slows down (without that unfortunate tearing-apart at the end). Like today, we went swimming with J for the second time, in preparation for our upcoming trip to Hawaii, and, hopefully, his first adventure in the ocean. We got to the pool at 1:15 and left at about 2:00, but it seemed like a whole day of swimming! He got in the baby end of the pool twice. Each time he looked very serious and held his arms straight out like a balance beam gymnast. We all needed a nap when we got home.

Our travels with Jasper are just beginning. He's growing and learning so much all the time. I'll do my best to keep up!

- Papa